Vornoff!
Last updated 2000-03-27
I was born at a very early age in the bussling metropolis of Missoula, Montana, but, sadly, before I had the opportunity
to become a hate-mongering xenophobe, I was transplanted to that Mecca of latte-sipping, tree-hugging, basement-dwelling,
alternative music-listening, computer-hyperliterate super-geeks...North Pierce County (it's funny if you've been there).
In this culture-rich environment, I fostered my budding taste for the classical arts, and in particular the works of such
masters as Edward D. Wood Jr., Anthony Cardoza, John Waters, and Harold P. Warren. But alas, all was not sunshine,
for during my turbulent fomative years I became a rebel, casting aside such wholesomely American institutions as young
country and ultra-violent prime-time television programs and instead joined the abnormal, unhealthy followings of Saturday
morning cartoons and opera. While under these subversive influences, my weak mind fell victim to the beguiling charm of
just the sweetest little mousie mechanic you can imagine and her lovable (though almost certainly communist) cohorts.
Which brings me here.
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